Updated: Mar 5
As we draw to the end of Lent, I come to the end of pondering these words; "teach us to sit still; to care and not to care." And I realise I have not learned to sit still any more than I did before; sitting still is not a natural thing for me.
How about you? Have you discovered a capacity or stillness, a balance in caring and not caring.
Learning things through a Lent discipline is useful, and can be life-shaping. I have discovered a lot through my failures to sit still - like, what it is that makes that hard, and therefore what I am truly valuing, giving attention to and investing my ego in. I have learned a lot through examining caring and not caring - not all of it comfortable.
But the danger is in treating the discipline as if it is a new year's resolution; to be achieved through will power and determination. And having achieved it, to feel good about it..
But maybe, sitting still and caring and not caring is not something to be achieved, but the process is itself. Maybe the learning - and the failing to learn - to sit still, and the caring and not caring about whether I do it - and more significantly, do it the way I think it ought to be done, or failing to do it the way I think it ought to be done is the process to which the words point.
Maybe caring and not caring about whether I sit still is what matters; maybe sitting still enough not to be caught up in caring changes me - maybe even in ways I won't notice. And maybe caring and not caring about who and what I am becoming is also important.
Lent is nearly over - but God cnintues to wirk in and through us,,,,,